Not the Same
by StillSilentWatcher
Summary: Things hadn't been the same since Plastic Beach.


A/N: So, this is the first story I've written in like, four or five years, so criticisms are welcomed, but be gentle with me, aha.

Also, please be aware that this story is centered on 2D's painkiller addiction, so if that's going to be too much for you, please don't read it.

Additionally, if you or someone you know is struggling with opioid/heroin addiction, please help that individual to seek treatment. If they will not, many states are making Narcan (Naloxone) available over the counter in both nasal spray and injectable forms, as well as Good Samaritan laws that protect using callers from being taken into police custody if they call for help for an overdosing friend while they are also under the influence. Activated charcoal can also be purchased over the counter, but if it's as severe as in this story, please opt for Narcan and call 911 immediately. As a writer, I just didn't want to go that route. Unlike activated charcoal, Narcan blocks opioid receptors in the brain and instantly reverses overdose. Signs of overdose include slowed or stopped breathing, slowed heartbeat, vomiting, sweating, flu/cold like symptoms, small pupils, and unconsciousness.

That's my bit, stay safe out there friends.

Things hadn't been the same since Plastic Beach.

Noodle pressed her ear more firmly against the scratched wood of 2D's door. He had come back home nearly thirty minutes ago, stumbling through the door and peeling of his Sudden Impact Driving instructor jacket, heading straight past Noodle and making a beeline for the staircase. She hadn't missed the way that his shirt clung to his gaunt frame, stuck to his skin by a heavy sheen of perspiration, or how he wrung his long, boney hands as he climbed the stairs. Over the past several weeks 2D had returned from work in increasingly worsening states, and Noodle had begun to get suspicious. It had never been a secret to any member of Gorillaz that 2D had a bit of a problem habit with his painkillers. Even as a little girl, Noodle had known that the way he gulped his pills like candy and his near constantly high affect weren't normal. But despite Russel's occasional gentle reminder that he had already taken his painkillers just a few hours beforehand and Murdoc's heavy-handed cuff around the head when he saw his singer taking more than two or three pills at a time, 2D never seemed to be seriously affected by the pills, so Noodle had never thought much about it. Until they got to Wobble Street.

Not hearing any noise from inside the room, Noodle decided it to knock gently on the door. "Toochie, are you in there?" she called, already knowing the answer. Radio silence greeted her behind the closed door. She waited for a few beats before knocking again. "Toochie, please open the door."

She knew that Plastic Beach had changed things for 2D. After she, Russel, and 2D had been reunited with Murdoc at 212 Wobble Street, the three of them spent an entire night up on the roof, Noodle and 2D lounging on Russel's still massive stomach, without their band leader, talking about what had happened to each of them after they had been separated by a storm after escaping the plastic island. Each of their stories were horrific in their own right, but when it had been 2D's turn to talk, he had broken down into tears during his retelling of his time with Murdoc and his stint alone on the beaches near Guadalupe. Although Murdoc had never been kind to 2D, and the singer didn't say exactly how badly he had been treated while in captivity, Noodle could infer that it had been much more extreme than their days at Kong, and that the entire experience had left 2D a great deal more anxious than he already was. That night alone he smoked his way through nearly three packs of Lucky Lungs, telling her and Russel that he hadn't had his medication since Murdoc had kidnapped him, and that his headaches and muscle pains had become near constant. The night had ended when Noodle had to drag 2D back through the window, insisting that she couldn't take the plumes of cigarette smoke anymore, and forced him to lie down and get some sleep.

Noodle rapped on the door a final time before twisting the knob. "I'm coming in, Toochie. I hope you have pants on."

2D had taken the job at Sudden Impact Driving School out of necessity. Russel, though shrinking daily, was unable to work due to his giant size and consumed an exorbitant amount of food just to live. Noodle, a freed child super solider, was not only not a citizen of the United Kingdom, but was an unregistered person, and therefore couldn't get job. And Murdoc was, well, Murdoc. He had kept blabbering on to all of them about the new record he had agreed them to make for EMI, but Noodle had seen little work actually produced by the bassist over the last several months despite the older man locking himself away in his work room for hours every day. So the responsibility for rent and food had fallen solely onto 2D. Noodle could tell that the high stress job did little for 2D's already frayed nerves, and she wasn't the least bit surprised when she found the first few bottles of Oxycontin mixed in with 2D's belonging scattered on the kitchen table. Noodle thought little of it, figuring that 2D would go back to the way he had been during the band's first two phases; high, but generally well-functioning. But quickly she realized that she was wrong. For the last few weeks, Noodle had been awoken to the sounds of 2D vomiting in the shared bathroom next to her bedroom before he headed out the door for work each morning. He had grown, if possible, thinner and gaunter than he had been, and when he returned lethargic in the evenings, she could barely get him to interact with her, his speech slurred even well into the day. Although she was not typically one to worry, Noodle had purchased a few doses of activated charcoal at the drug store down the street after she had found him passed out on the kitchen table one morning the week before, his pill bottle empty and still open by his outstretched hand. When she had finally been able to coax him awake, he had confessed that he had sat down at the table the previous night at 9 o'clock, nearly nine hours beforehand.

Noodle cracked open the door to 2D's room, peeking her head around the frame. The floor was littered with dirty clothes, shoes, and papers, along with the several keyboards that Murdoc had managed to keep after Plastic Beach had been invaded. The air smelled strongly of stale cigarette smoke, with undercurrents of fruity shampoo and 2D's regular butterscotch scent, and the room was illuminated only by the small lamp that he kept on his bedside table.

She stepped gingerly over the mess into the few feet of hallway space that led from the door into the main floorspace of the bedroom. She peered to the right around the end of the wall, where 2D's twin bed was shoved against the connecting wall. "Toochie?"

When her eyes landed on him, she felt her heart almost stop.

2D sat in a crumpled heap near the head of the bed, his long arms flopped uselessly at his sides. His head was pitched forward onto his chest and he was supported into a sitting position only by the wall behind him. A small dribble of vomit had slipped from between his lips and onto his shirt, and his newest pill bottle lay strewn open on the floor in front of him, clearly dropped.

Noodle rushed forward, wrenching up his chin. A faint blueish tinge ringed his lips and his breath came out in slow, short breathes, but she was relieved to find him breathing at all. He moaned slightly at her contact, opening his eyes slightly to look in her general direction. The corners of his mouth ticked up into the barest hint of a grin.

"N…Nood…" he tried to make out. Noodle ignored this greeting, instead opting to grab 2D's abandoned phone resting on his pillow. She moved her hand to his forehead and used her thumb to gently hold open the lid of his left eye. Although the singer's eyes had been black and damaged for as long as she had known him, Noodle also knew that it was possible to make out the faint lines of his pupils and irises with a bright enough light. Noodle turned on the flashlight on 2D's phone and shined the blinding light directly into this opened eye, to which he put up little fight. Through the blood, Noodle could make out his pupil shrunken down to a pin-prick. She let go of his head and it lolled forward again.

"Godammit, D…" She tossed down the phone and moved to open the draw in his nightstand. When she had bought the charcoal, she had stashed it in his bedside table, figuring that if she ever needed it, it would be in his room. She hated that she was right.

Tearing the bottle open, she slipped four of the small black capsules between his lips and massaged his jaw and throat, encouraging him to swallow. "Swallow it, come on…" When she felt the lump pass down his esophagus, she relaxed a little, and pulled him by the shoulders to turn him around so that she could ease him off of the bed. While Noodle was every bit as strong as her training as a super solider would lead one to believe, she still struggled to drag the singer from the bed and into the bathroom joined to his room. 2D was over six feet tall and had a good foot of height over her, his long limbs knocking and catching on every bit of mess left on his floor. When she finally had him completely in the bathroom, she kicked several empty bottles of soap and shampoo out of the way to clear a space next to the toilet for him to sit.

Noodle managed this all on the nick of time. Just as she hoisted him up onto a small step stool that had been sitting by the sink, 2D showed the first signs of movement since she had entered the room and gave a full body heave. Knowing what was about to happen, Noodle threw open the lid to the toilet, grabbing the sides of his head to hold it out over the bowl. With a sickening noise, 2D violently expelled the contents of his stomach. Noodle scrunched her nose at the smell, but tried to speak to him soothingly as he continued to wretch into the porcelain.

"That's it, Toochie. だいじょうぶよ. Get it all up. " She couldn't let her hands stray from his head, not trusting him to be able to hold it up himself, but she massaged light circles into his sweat-soaked scalp as he hacked up long streams of sludge, blackened by the charcoal. It took nearly half an hour of this before 2D seemed to run out of bodily fluids to eject. By the last few heaves, he spat out nothing but small dribblings of foamy bile. Under her touch she could feel him begin to shiver, his body finally alert to the sweat that had been pouring out of his skin since before he had come back from work. In between wet coughs she started to hear him take deeper, longer breaths and she felt the clench in her own chest begin to loosen.

When it appeared that he had nothing left to throw up, Noodle eased him down back onto the floor and stood up to grab the washcloth that hung on the towel bar near the sink. She ran it under cool water from the tap and bent down to rinse off the vomit and sweat plastered to 2D's face. 2D groaned softly as he opened a bleary eye and brought a weak hand up to rest on Noodle's outstretched arm. "Noodle," he rasped, his voice strained from the heaving he had just engaged in for the last stretch of time. "Wot'chu doin', luv?"

For the first time in their friendship, Noodle felt anger at 2D rise up in herself. She couldn't even explain to herself why she was having this reaction; she knew that 2D abused pills since she met him, but somehow this felt different. Like a reckless abandon of his own sense of safety that seemed much more Murdoc's style than 2D's. She always felt that 2D was more responsible with his substance use than Murdoc, but in that moment she felt the same fear that she had often felt with the bassist; that she might one day find him dead.

"Cleaning your sorry self up," she said coldly, though she regretted it almost instantly, as 2D's face softened out of his misery to give her a small smile.

"'Fanks, luv… dunno know wut I'd do wifout yew…"

Noodle didn't say anything else as she continued to wipe down 2D's feverish skin. Peeling his wet t-shirt and jeans off his damp body, she pulled his arms and legs into the freshest pair of pajamas that she could manage to find in his landmine of a room. After he was cleaned and dressed, she guided him up and back into his bedroom, going slowly as his feet half walked and half dragged on the hardwood, and propped him up against his pillow and a small pile of clothes. Just in case, she pulled over the small trash bin stashed under his desk and set it next to the head of the bed. Prattling on about random events of her day, trying to keep him awake as long as possible, she set about searching him room and collecting up every pill and bottle of Oxycontin she could find and pocketed them all in the large folds of her sweater shrug. Finally, she sat down on the edge of the bed and lifted the ratty sheets near her hip and laid them over 2D's exposed legs.

"'Fanks,…" He leaned his head back wearily into the piled cushioning behind him. "D'ya reckon I could close me eyes? I dun mean 'ta be kickin' yew out, Noods, 'm jus so tired is all."

Noodle frowned. She could tell by the way he asked that 2D wasn't exactly with it yet, speaking to her like she had come over just to pay him a visit. But she reached over and took one of his boney wrists into her hands, and pressed two fingers against the soft skin of the inside. His pulse, though still slow by normal standards, felt strong and even.

"Yes…but I'm going to say here if you don't mind, Toochie."

His head wobbled on his skinny neck as his eyes rolled shut. "O course, Noodle… Make yerself comfy, luv. Mi casa es tu casa." He gave a half-hearted laugh as he let his head flop sideways on the pillow. "Picked tha up in Mexico…should take yew there, yew'd love it…"

Within minutes 2D was asleep, his breathes low and even. Noodle pulled her legs up against her chest, and watched him doze. Later she would climb onto the roof to have a chat with Russel about the evening's events, but in the moment she was too afraid to leave him unattended. She considered briefly calling Murdoc up to 2D's room to ask his opinion about the whole thing, or to help her watch over the singer through the night, but quickly decided against it. Although she loved Murdoc, she knew that he would only laugh and joke at 2D's pitiful state, then bully the life out of him for the foreseeable future. So instead she wrapped her nimble fingers around 2D's wrist once more and concentrated on the heartbeat she felt pumping below the skin. It would be a long night.

The night passed with little incident. Noodle found the number for the driving school on 2D's phone, and called in to let them know that he would be taking off of work for the next day or two. 2D woke up once in the early hours of the morning and vomited into the small trash bin Noodle had placed next to him, but little came up and after his gasping breath returned to normal, Noodle was able to coax him into drinking some water, which he took gratefully. Sometime just before sunrise, Noodle felt herself nodding off, and although she tried her hardest to stay awake, she slipped into a shallow sleep still sitting at the foot of 2D's bed.

When she woke up, bright sunlight filtering in through the blinds on the far window made her squint and strain her eyes. Looking at her phone, Noodle saw that it was nearly ten in the morning, and someone had laid a blanket across her lap, the corners tucked up around her shoulders. She pulled the blanket off of her and looked up to the head of the bed. The covers were tossed back and 2D was gone.

Noodle tread softly down the stairs to the first level of the house, peeking her head in every room briefly as she went to see if 2D was inside. Eventually though, she found him in the kitchen. He was slumped forward on the kitchen table, a mug of tea held loosely in one hand, the other holding his head. Across from him, another mug was laid out, empty except for an open packet of Noodle's favorite black tea. Between the two seats sat a hot kettle of water. Slowly, he noticed her presence in the doorway.

"Mornin', luv," he mumbled feebly. He gestured meekly at the cup across from him. "Would yew mind joinin' me? Made yew a cuppa'."

Noodle was taken aback by the tentativeness in 2D's voice. Even when she could tell he was unwell, 2D always made an attempt at cheerfulness, especially for her. She poured some of the steaming water in her mug and watched as 2D followed her hands with his eyes. He sat up a little straighter before giving his throat a little clear.

"'M sorry yew had to deal wif all tha', Noods." His voice was guilt laden, and as he spoke to her, his eyes never quite met hers. "Yer young, yew shouldn't 'ave to be takin' care a an ol' codgers like me."

Any anger that she had harbored the previous night had melted away, and she felt pity rise up in her chest for her old zen buddy. "Toochie, it is okay, I-" But he cut her off mid-sentence in a very un-2D-like fashion, somber and still.

"It ain't awright, luv. I can't keep on like this, an I know I been makin' yew worry." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair before looking her straight in the eye. "'M gonna try ta quit," he said softly. Noodle looked him in disbelief. 2D without his pills was like space without stars, or Murdoc without alcohol in his system. She didn't think it would ever happen.

"It ain't gonna 'appen overnight. I been takin' em so long I can't rememba when I even started," he continued. "An' tha withdrawal is awful." He shuddered. "Murdoc didn' bring me any pills ta Plastic Beach, so I wen through it there- was sicker than a dog, as bad as I was las' nigh', but for nearly two weeks." He looked down into his tea. "But I wan' yew to keep a'hold of me pills. Give 'em ta me when I need 'em, and only one at a time." He looked back at her and gave her a playful, toothy grin, a flash of life coming back into his eyes. "I know yew took 'em, yew little thief. Searched all over me room while yew was sleepin' before comin' down 'ere."

Noodle grinned back at him. She took a hand off of her mug and laid it gently across his own broad one. "Of course," she said gently, "anything for you, Toochie." She felt him relax under her palm, and he gave her a weary smile. She stood up, and moved to the stove, giving his hair a slight ruffle as she passed him. "Now, let's get some breakfast going," she said as she pulled out several eggs from the refrigerator, one of the only food items on the shelves stuffed to the brim with Murdoc's alcohol. "With the night you had, you could use some food in your belly."

He laughed, and Noodle felt any remaining tension in the air melt away. "Not sure I wan' anyfink yew'd make me, luv. I rememba' the concoctions yew used ta make back at Kong."

Noodle smiled and turned around. "Well then, I guess we'll have to go see if Russel will carry us to the take-out place over on the east side of town. I think he could use a walk, and you could use some fresh air."

"Sounds like a plan, Noods." He stood up, shakily at first, but Noodle held his elbow to steady him, and they walked to grab their coats from the front entryway.


End file.
